


601

by ASH.l.e.i.11



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-01-01
Updated: 2011-04-10
Packaged: 2014-09-12 14:15:09
Rating: M
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,673
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6612574/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2104221/ASH-l-e-i-11
Summary: Three years post 513; Justin returns, like always, to Pittsburgh after his stay in New York. But has everything changed during their separation? What will happen when they reunite?





	1. Scene 1

_Disclaimer: All characters, settings etc. belong to Showtime._

_So, Queer as Folk is a recent discovery but I managed to watch all five seasons within three weeks. This is as well as going to school, doing homework and counting the fact that I watched it on Megavideo and they have their stupid 'you have watched 72 (sometimes just 54!) minutes of video today, please wait 54 minutes before you can watch again.' That was frustrating. But later I found a YouTube channel that has all the Britin moments from every episode. Just type 'Britin TV' into the search and it should come up._

_Anyway, like a lot of other people, I fell in love with Britin...and Debbie (amazing! Enough said). So, naturally, I spent the last twenty minutes or so of 513 crying and shouting 'what the FUCK!' at the laptop. I didn't want to believe that was the end of them. And then they didn't even have Justin at Babylon? I like to think he was just busy or running late, but that's no excuse. _

_So I felt they needed a reunion. Now, let us all imagine that it didn't all end with 513. Let us all pretend that when Brian and Justin shared their goodbye it wouldn't be the last time they saw each other. Let us pretend that there's a series six of Queer as Folk. I can just picture the credits...lots of Brian and Justin, dancing, kissing, just stood with their arms around each other..._

_I can't wait. I hope you enjoy._

* * *

_Brian's POV_

* * *

I was stood, leant against the bar in my homeland – or should that be homoland...anyway, everyone else just calls it Babylon. The drink in my hand felt heavy; I'd given up keeping track of how many I'd had already – and Michael thought I drank a lot when Justin got bashed! If I drank enough, occasionally, I forgot that the night didn't feel like it used to; before _he _left. The 'thump-a thump-a' of the music, the dancing boys, the glitter falling from on high, reflecting the bright lights below... None of it felt the same anymore. None of it held the attraction it used to. I'd been fooling myself ever since Michael convinced me to re-open it.

"Wanna fuck?"

A shiver went up my spine at those words. It had been years since I'd heard them from this particular person. I couldn't really be hearing them though; that _particular _person was in New York, never to return. I put my breakdown in hearing down to an overactive imagination and far too much to drink...and the fact that I missed him, and I so longed to do what my imaginary Sunshine was asking me to. Only with him though. The most I accepted these days was a blow job, and even they didn't feel as good as they once did.

I tried to ignore my imagination when it started saying my name over and over again trying to get my attention. When I felt his hand on my shoulder, attempting to turn me around, I knew I was getting out of control. I reached behind me with my left arm and grabbed the top of his. Turning, I slammed him into the bar to the right of where I'd been stood, my forearm held across his chest.

"Fuck off!" I yelled. "And leave me the hell-" _Shit. _I registered the subtle differences in the person in front of me. "_Justin..?"_

"Hi, Brian."

* * *

After standing and gaping for a minute, I somehow managed to ask him if he wanted to get out of there. No doubt a serious conversation was on the way and Babylon wasn't the most ideal venue.

My car was parked in the alley, and I headed towards the driver's side. Justin came and took the keys off me when I couldn't even unlock it. As he pulled out I couldn't help thinking that it was like the good old days – except then it was Michael who had had to drive me home.

"Are you living at the loft?" He asked me.

"Yeah," I replied. I couldn't tell what he made of that news; he just nodded to acknowledge the fact that he'd heard and turned his attention back to the road.

The rest of the drive was a quiet one; a cliché of awkward silence and stolen glances when we both thought the other wasn't looking. Except I was always looking...if only to assure myself he wasn't a drug induced hallucination. I couldn't get it into my head that he was here. I thought I'd never see him again; though that's as much my fault as it is his.

"I missed this place," Justin said, after I managed to unlock and open the door. We stepped inside, taking off jackets though we both kept a small distance between us.

"It missed you too," I sighed whilst going to the fridge and getting a beer. I silently offered him one, he declined. I took a swig as I walked round the side of the counter, setting it on the bench. I couldn't help thinking about the similarities between my path now and the first night he set foot here. I pushed the memories out of my mind and returned to the present.

"Why didn't 'it' come see me?" He asked; we weren't talking about the loft anymore. "I mean for more than a weekend of fucking for the first few months. When I came for at least a week; kept coming."

"Until we both got too busy to honestly try anymore," I muttered. Whether it was loud enough for him to hear clearly, I wasn't sure. I sighed. "I didn't think I'd have to come see you," I admitted, my voice raised slightly in defence; "you always came back to me," I told him, wishing that it had been true this time like it always had before that. "Even when I screamed I didn't love to and told you to _'fuck off' _and _'get out,'_ I'd come back and you were always here." He still was here. Everywhere I looked.

"It's been three years since I left, Brian."

"I gave up any hope any hope I might have had of you returning after one. I knew you weren't coming back then."

"I'm here now," he reminded me.

"For how long?" I shot back. I saw that it hurt him; he could hide his expression, but not his eyes. I had to do it though. I couldn't let this boy break me again.

"That depends," he said, trying to remain composed.

"On..?"

"If the offer still stands," he said simply, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips though he was trying to fight it.

I almost smiled myself. I covered by asking; "which offer?"

"The one where you asked me to marry you."


	2. Scene 2

_Justin's POV_

* * *

"What makes you think I still want to?"

How had I known that would be his response – or something along those lines anyway... He had a point though, which was why I'd phrased the question the way I had. Because, really, it had taken nearly losing me – again – to get him to propose then; what chance did I have now? Though, glancing around the place, it didn't look like I'd been replaced...and he'd been alone at Babylon; I'd been watching. Killing time whilst I figured out how the hell to tell him I was back.

"It doesn't look like you've replaced me," I told him. "And you were stood alone at the bar."

"Thanks for reminding me," he replied cynically; "I've become Ted – minus the surgery."

"You're only 37," I said, meaning it in a good way – he didn't look it.

"Yeah and you're 25!" He shouted. _Note to self; _do not_ mention '_age_' in front of Brian._ "You haven't – metaphorically – died yet! You could still have any guy you want." Wait. Did that mean..? Were people seriously turning down _Brian Kinney?_

"We both know there's only one guy I've ever wanted," I reminded him.

"No one in New York catch your attention?" He asked with, seemingly, fake curiosity. I knew him better.

"They all looked like you, and if they didn't; I wasn't interested," I told him. "Not that I did anything if I was." Jacking-off and blow jobs can only get you so far; I was almost trembling. I had to restrain myself from closing the distance between us and ripping the clothes of him where he stood. "I still love you, Brian," I said, whilst I had his eye contact so he _knew_ I meant it. "Always will."

* * *

_Brian's POV_

* * *

When the fuck did _this _happen? When did_ Brian Kinney _turn into the type of guy who, upon hearing those words from the man in front of me – and knowing by the look in his eyes that they were true – would have to fight the urge to drop to his knees in relief.

"I didn't do anything either," I confessed, the words slipping from my lips before I could stop them.

"What?" Justin asked disbelievingly. I would have done the same if I didn't know it was true.

"I didn't- I haven't-" I sighed in defeat; may as well say it. "No one since you. I barely let anyone suck me off anymore..."

"What?" He asked again; still in shock.

"Please don't make me repeat it," I said through gritted teeth, not meeting his eyes. "I'd rather not relive the pathetic mess my life has become witho-" _Without you._ That's what I was going to say; and I said way too much to even begin trying to deny it. Though, somehow, I didn't think I would. "I love you too, Justin. Always have."

I stepped closer to him; and then I was lost. All I could see, smell, touch, taste and hear was Sunshine. If I died now, all I could think was that I'd have known a much better heaven than the one Vic showed me. I felt him guiding me to the bedroom and I went willingly, too happy and content and...drunk, to assert any power. But I was gonna change that in about 10 seconds.

As soon as we were up the steps I went to work, hastily grabbing the hem of his shirt and yanking it over his head. Once that was out of the way I really got busy whilst he speedily un-did the buttons of my shirt, I kissed, licked, sucked and nibbled my way down his neck, his chest, his abdomen... When I reached his jeans the button almost flew off due to the forcefulness with which I ripped them open. Yanking them down past his knees, I then complied with his attempts to pull me back up to his lips, but a flash against his skin caught my attention.

"What's..?" I mumbled as I grabbed his wrist for a close inspection. He tried to pull his arm back but my grip was firm; he was wearing my bracelet. "How did you get this? I thought I-"

"I found it under the sofa years ago," he admitted guiltily.

"And you kept it? All this time? And wore it?"

"Every single day I was in New York without you."

"I'm sorry about that," I said, letting his wrist drop.

"Don't be," he said, his hand caressing my cheek. "We're together again now." He kissed my lips once, slowly. Then again, and again, each time for a little bit longer. All the while kicking off his shoes and his jeans before he started to remove mine. I tried to get into it but in my head all I could think was; _together for how long?_ I had to know.

"Justin; stop," I said against his lips when my jeans were hanging below my hips. He looked at me in confusion. "How long are you here for?"

He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, I sat next to him, not bothering to re-fasten my jeans. Still hoping in vain that this would all end well, and it would therefore be pointless of me to do so.

"I'm here for good, Brian," he said, his tone sounded defeated. His answer confused me though.

"But New York..? You were happy there," I told him. "You were making your mark in the art world, building yourself up."

"I was happy," he said; "for the first year or so I was there. I haven't done any art in over a year," he admitted. "My last solo show was unsuccessful, the shows I did before that weren't amazing. It was great at first because I was this new talent in the big city, but after that, when the buzz wore off, I was just another artist."

"So, what the hell have you been doing since then?" I asked. I couldn't believe this.

"Waiting tables, dancing in the clubs, doing anything I could so I could make rent," he said. "I had to move out of my studio straight away, it was way too expensive."

"Why didn't you come back?" I asked. I was trying not to be angry.

"I was ashamed," he replied. "I didn't want to come back as the big failure, forced to live off you again – if you'd still have me. I don't deserve you after what I did. I left a great life, a great future, to become 'Mister Successful' and now I'm back here in the Pitts. Leaving here in the first place was a mistake. And I'll never be able to change that."

"Then let's just hope that you learn not to do it again," I said, placing a hand on his thigh. He looked up at me through glossy eyes as if he couldn't believe I'd forgive him. "I missed you. I never thought you'd ever come back. Who would after New York? I thought you'd forget about me and move on with someone who could make you happy."

"You're the only person who's ever done that. I'm just sorry I didn't realise it sooner. Can you ever forgive me?"

"For being an idiot, artistic type, determined to try and make his own way in the world?" He looked down, not getting the hint that I was joking. I tilted his chin up and his eyes met mine. "There's nothing to forgive." And then I kissed him to prove it.

"I was-thinking-in New York," he said against my lips between kisses.

"Mmm," I sighed, moving to his neck so he could say what was on his mind.

"And I thought of something that I didn't realise before which I should have," he finished.

"What was that?" I asked, leaving his neck alone, sensing that this required my full attention.

"You changed, Brian," he told me. "Let me finish," he said when I started to argue. "But you didn't change because we were getting married like I thought; you changed before that. I mean, the fact that you asked me in the first place is more than enough proof."

"That's why you asked me again," I realised.

"I know we can make it work; I'm not letting you go this time."

_Do you love the boy – _man – _in front of you? _I asked myself. _Yes; _I'd told him as much. _Are you miserable when he's not here? Yes. Were the last three years of your life hell? Yes. Was not marrying him one of the biggest regrets of your life, second only to not bothering to give 110% to making it work long distance? Yes. Do you want his smile to be the first thing you see when you wake up every morning? Yes. Then you know what you have to do. _It's what I should have done as soon as he brought it up.

I got up and left him sat there, a puzzled look on his face due to my apparent sudden change of mood. My mood hadn't changed at all though, if anything it had solidified. I opened the top drawer and hunted through the various vests and tee shirts till I found the small box at the back; I still hadn't returned them. I guess I hadn't given up hope after all.

I walked so I was stood in front of him before getting down on one knee; I would do things properly this time. "Justin Taylor," I began, taking pride in the fact that the huge smile that lit up his face was there by my doing. "I love you; I always have, even if I wouldn't admit it. I missed you more than I will ever say – even to you. I want to see your smile every day for the rest of my life. Marry me."

"You still didn't return them?" He joked. "Well, I guess that's a good thing. Yes, I will marry you." I went to open the box and put the ring on his finger but he snapped it shut in my hand. "Can't we do that later? We're so very nearly naked," he pointed out.

"Ah, the young man's sex drive," I mused. "How I miss it."

"Try and keep up," he teased.

_Keep up? _I mentally scoffed, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not that old," I said, dropping the box to the floor and springing up, knocking him backwards onto the bed. I pinned him, my hands wrapping round his wrists, using my weight to stop all his attempts to squirm and get free. He was mine. Unfortunately clothes were still in the way.

I kicked my shoes off and switched to holding his wrists in one hand so I could use the other to reach down and push my jeans down further. Once they were to my knees, Justin leant a helping hand; wrapping his legs around me and using his feet to push them the rest of the way off.

Smiling, I brought my lips back to his. I returned my hand to his wrist before I ran both hands down the inside of his arms, over his chest... "Get comfortable, Sunshine," I whispered in his ear, urging him to shuffle further up the bed. He did as I requested, but I stayed put. I moved my legs so they were either side of his and I was knelt over him, licking and sucking my way down his body.

I knocked his hands aside when he reached down to remove his underwear; "leave it," I told him, my voice muffled against the skin of his abdomen. I dragged my tongue down to his hips before taking the band of his boxers between my teeth. I then proceeded to pull them all the way down, trying not to get distracted as I uncovered him, letting his beautiful, hard, cock spring free.

Once he was done, I quickly removed both our socks and my own underwear before crawling back up the bed between his legs so that when I stopped they were rested on my shoulders. I reached for the nightstand where I still kept both condoms and lube, more out of habit really; it had been a while since I'd used them. I applied both and then got into position...

"Brian..?" Justin whispered tentatively.

"Take it easy, right?" He nodded. "Just like the first time," I said tenderly, leaning down and kissing the tip of his nose.

I placed myself at his entrance and then began to push in slowly, letting him adjust. His eyes scrunched shut and his teeth gritted, but not a note of his discomfort passed his lips. I hated the fact that I was causing him pain, but I would work very hard to fix that when I got moving. Sure, I was out of practice, but the last time I checked I was still the best fuck in Pittsburgh.

Justin's eyes opened and I took that as an okay to continue. I pushed the rest of the way in before pulling out slowly, and then repeated the motion. _Okay, let's see if I remember how to do this,_ I thought, increasing my pace, trying to strike that spot which I was so good at hitting.

Beneath me Justin's eyes were closed in pleasure; he breathing loud, fast, and heavy. He moaned loudly his back arching of the bed in pleasure when I rubbed that spot I'd been searching for. _Like riding a bike. _I increased the pace of my thrusts again; pushing myself harder and faster into Justin, which elicited all sorts of delicious moans from his lips. It was a good thing Justin was still as flexible as I couldn't resist leaning down and catching his lips, his moans getting lost in our kiss.

I was panting; the sweat beading on my chest and the back of my neck before running down my spine. I wasn't sure how long I kept up the rhythm; all I know is I was having the time of my life, I'd ever felt this way before – even with Justin - then I came, and it got _so _much better. Justin quickly followed and we both rode out our highs before I collapsed, spent, against his chest. I took a moment to catch my breath then slowly pulled out before rolling off him so I was laid on my back beside him.

"So...do you see Gus much?" He asked when we'd both stopped panting.

"We just had the best fuck of my life after you agreed to marry me again, and you ask me about my son?" I questioned incredulously.

"Best ever?" Trust that to be the part that he payed attention to.

"Yes," I told him, propping myself up on my elbow so I could lean down and kiss him.

"Better than that first weekend in New York when we-"

"Yes," I repeated, cutting him off.

"But we did it in an elevator," he pointed out, sitting up; "twice," he emphasised. "Remember? The alarm bell was ringing, the security cameras caught the whole thing and all because we couldn't wait another minute to get to the room. You had to stay in a different hotel the next time you visited."

"Yeah, that was a good one," I agreed as the memories flooded back. "But welcome home sex is always best."

"Why?" He asked me.

"Because you're saying hello not goodbye, and you know that it's not the last time you're going to be together."

* * *

_Anybody spot the Dirty Dancing reference? Go shirtless-Patrick Swayze hard-ons! This is my first gay sex scene so tell me what you guys think._


	3. Scene 3

_Justin's POV_

* * *

"It was never going to be the last time," I told him assuredly. "If our _relationship _has taught us anything, it's that we'll always be together in the end."

"Why did you agree to marry me again?" He asked suddenly. "Sure, we know not to mess up the way we did last time, but what's to say that we won't find other-"

"I'm taking a chance on love," I repeated his words, cutting off his doubts. He wasn't getting out of this. "Like you pointed out before; I always come back, I always let you back in."

"Do I ever leave?"

"Don't flatter yourself." I shoved Brian back into the bed, climbing on top of him so I was sat across his hips. "You're letting me?" I asked in confusion; he never let me have control like this...

"I'm much more flexible in my old age." I rolled my eyes at the old age comment; he still looked like a fucking 29 year old. "Though that only applies to you," he continued, "so _don't_ let word get around," he warned.

"So..?" I asked.

"So...what?"

"Do you see Gus?" I asked again.

"You really care that much?" He questioned.

"Yeah, I love Gus _and_ I am going to be his step-father," I pointed out.

"Ha," he laughed. "I can't wait to see the looks on the lesbians' faces when they hear that." He smiled. "I get Gus in the summer like me and Lindsay agreed, in response to your question. I take time off work, we get out of the city... He absolutely loves it at the-" He broke off suddenly.

"Brian?" I asked anxiously, getting off him. "What is it?"

He shuffled up the bed and propped himself up against the pillows. I crawled and sat next to him, my body facing his. He sighed. "The manor," he told me. "He loves it at the manor."

_

* * *

_

Brian's POV

* * *

"The man... But how? Why" He asked in shock. I hadn't wanted him to find out like that. I wanted it to be a surprise – now that we were back together – for him to find out that I'd kept the house we'd both intended to spent the rest of our lives living in.

"Same reason as the rings I guess," I said, indicating the box at the foot of the bed. "It was yours. It felt as wrong to get rid of it as it did to say goodbye to you and let you go. Watch you get on the plane back to New York over and over again."

"But...how did you afford it?" He looked as if he were having trouble digesting the news, he was still stunned.

"I cut back on luxuries for a while," I explained. "Leased this place whilst I was there in the summer...lots of little things..."

"Thank you," he said. "For not selling it. Any of it. What did you call it?"

"B-r-i-t-i-n." I wrote the letters in the air as I said them. "What else?"

"You're serious? Wow." He sank back into the pillows beside me.

"You expected me to name it anything else?" I asked him.

"I didn't expect you to keep it to be able to name it," he replied. "You hate the country; you only bought that place-"

"For you," I finished. "I bought it for you. I couldn't get rid of something that you loved – even if you weren't using it."

"So what about everything else? Everyone else?" He asked me. "It feels like a lifetime ago, bring me up to speed."

I pulled the duvet out from under us and wrapped it around the both of us, pulling Justin close so his back was against my chest. I wrapped my arms round his waist, needing to hold him again.

"Michael and Ben moved," I began. "It was about six months ago. He was worried about missing too much of J.R.'s life so they moved up to Canada – Hunter in tow."

"Woah... You must miss him." I nodded. "So what about Emmett and Ted and..._Debbie! Crap! _She's gonna kill me when she finds out I'm back."

I laughed; he was right. Especially because he came to see me first. "Erm...Emmett _almost_ married his childhood sweetheart only to have the ceremonies interrupted by none other than Drew Boyde, proclaiming he was ready to be a boyfriend and then begging Emmett not to get married. That was a fun wedding."

"Who did he choose?" Justin asked.

"Did you not pay attention to the 'almost'? There was a big bust up between the three of them, which unfortunately happened backstage, then the honey stormed out and the protégé danced with the bride at the reception."

"So he's dating Drew?" He clarified.

"Didn't I just say that? Let's see, Ted, Ted, Ted... Theodore is still with Blake; they're engaged to be faithful husbands. And, now that Mickey's marriage is real again, Debbie's finally agreed to walk down the aisle. My first straight wedding," I commented.

"How horrible for you," he said. I wasn't sure but I though he stifled a yawn.

"Care to be my date?"

"Always," he replied, leaning to the side and turning his head so he could kiss me.

"Being there with you might make it bearable."

"It's still Debbie we're talking about," he reminded me. "It's not like there'll be many straight people in attendance. The reception will probably be like a good night at Woody's." He yawned the last part, proving my suspicions from before. No wonder though; it was nearly three. He'd have spent the day travelling, he must be tired.

"Come on, sleepyhead." I loosened my hold on him temporarily so he could lie down comfortably. I laid down facing him then wrapped my arms around him again. "We can discuss all this in the morning when you can keep your eyes open and stop yawning long enough to complete a sentence, and when I'm...sober."

He chuckled slightly. "Brian?" He asked with his eyes closed.

"Mmm?"

"This is the best night of your life?" He inquired.

"Yes," I replied. I like how he understood that best night equated in part to the best fuck.

"I wanted-" yawn "-to tell you; I remembered mine. All of it."

"What?" That sobered me up.

"You asked me how long I'm back for-" yawn. "You never asked me why I came back." I felt like I was in a stupid TV drama where someone's incapacitated and they're about to say something incredibly important and meaningful and the other persons waiting desperately for them to spit it out before they pass out or whatever because if you ask them the next day they've always forgotten. "That's why," he told me. "Song, radio," great, now he was losing coherency. "I had to-" yawn "-tell you; I remember," he finished, looking into my eyes. Then his closed and he was asleep.

I, on the other hand, was now wide awake; and left to no one but my own thoughts for the rest of the night. I finally passed out a few hours later.


	4. Scene 4

_Brian's POV_

* * *

I rolled over, and wrapped my arm round...nothing. The bed was empty. My eyes flashed open, and I sat up, looking around me wildly. My body froze with the realisation that the best night of my life had been a dream. I wanted to throw up. My empty stomach clenched uncomfortably and I gagged. Then something smashed in the kitchen.

"_Fuck!_"

I began to hope.

* * *

_Justin's POV_

* * *

"Stupid fucking glass," I muttered. I'd gotten the outside wet when I'd filled it with water and it had slipped from my hand when I'd gone to drink it. I tried not to cut my bare feet as I stepped around it to get a towel. Behind me I heard Brian stumble out of the bedroom.

"Morning-" The rest of my greeting was cut off – along with my oxygen supply – as Brian spun me around, his lips forcefully crashing down against mine with such urgency that – if I wasn't already – I'd have been knocked breathless.

I dragged as much air in as possible when he eventually let me go. "Never leave me alone in bed again," he said, enunciating each word. "I almost- I thought-"

"What's wrong?" His hands were rested on my neck, his thumbs running along my jaw.

"Waking up – without you – after last night; I thought I'd dreamt it all. Not an unrealistic conclusion with the amount I had to drink."

"Oh shit." I could easily imagine how he'd felt as it would probably be the same as I would feel. Last night being a dream... It would be cruel. "I'm sorry, Brian. I didn't think-"

"Just don't do it again," he told me, but I sensed I was forgiven. "What are you doing up anyway?" He asked.

"Brian, it's after noon," I told him.

"No wonder I'm hungry."

"I was gonna make something for...well, I guess it would be brunch now, but the only things you have is beer, Jack Daniels and yoghurt that should have been thrown out a week ago. You don't even have coffee."

He rolled his eyes. "I meant the other hungry," he said. "Come back to bed. I missed my morning sex."

I smiled. I wanted him; I hadn't had him like this in so long. The pull I felt towards him was undeniable. He kissed me as if he could read my mind; his kiss persuading me to follow him. But I really had gotten up for food as I was the regular kind of hungry, which my growling stomach pointed out when he started to pull me back to the bedroom.

"Sadly I crave actual food so it's looking like a trip to the diner...and facing Debbie. Fun," I groaned. I hadn't wanted to face her yet...or ever.

"My offer still stands," he said, gesturing downwards. And it did, I hadn't even noticed he was still naked.

I sighed. "Mine, unfortunately, doesn't. Thoughts of the dishing out she's going to give me are enough to scare even the raging hard-on you inspire."

"Well in that case, I'm going to shower, entertain myself..." He winked and then started to walk towards the bathroom.

"You're just giving up? You're not even going to try and distract me?"

He turned around at the top of the step. "Justin, I'm naked and headed for the shower; how much more distracting can you get?" Then he just walked away.

"Fair point," I said aloud. And we did have some good times in showers that were _plenty_ distracting... I didn't even notice when I followed him.

* * *

"Are you sure-last night-was the best fuck?" I panted as I pretty much fell out of the shower; I was exhausted. I leant on the towel rack for support, not having the energy to dry off yet.

"Definitely one to consider," Brian said. He was out of breath, but still walking. He tutted as he leant past me to grab a towel. "And I thought I was supposed to be the middle-aged one."

"Just because I'm young, doesn't mean I'm in shape," I told him, managing to grab a towel.

"I can see that," he commented, as I walked to the sink, leaning against that as I dried myself off.

"I haven't done anything in the last couple of years to be in shape."

"What the hell did you do with the extra libido?" He asked me. "I was burning it off at the gym every oppertunity I could get. I have never been in better shape."

"So you did actual exercise for once?"

He smacked me lightly. "I always exercised."

"One muscle in particular," I muttered. He heard. I rubbed my arm where he hit me for the second time.

I watched as he leant forwards, examining his face closely in the mirror. His fingers pulled the skin around his eyes taut, getting rid of the lines only he could see. He was still perfect. Which is a miracle considering what he puts his body through; the drinking, the drugs, the sex – though he said he hadn't done the last since the last time we were together.

I hadn't known what to make of that last night; a part of me didn't believe it could be true, but he'd been so open and honest that the rest of me told that part to shut up. It then said 'I told you so' about ten minutes ago when he was drinking me up like you would drink water in the desert.

He gave up in the end, sighing in frustration before throwing his towel down and walking away. "Hurry up, Sunshine," he said, appearing round the door already clad in jeans. "I'm starving."

"Do we have go to the diner?" I asked him as I grabbed a sweater and pants out of my bag.

"Yes," he told me. "Debbie's reaction is the only thing that remotely makes it worth getting out of bed."

"I could make it worth your while to stay in it..." I offered; anything to avoid being murdered...

"Not a chance," he told me from the doorway. "Come on," he said, throwing an arm round my shoulders after I reluctantly joined him. "Just think, the sooner this is over, the sooner we can come back and have our wicked ways with each other."

"Now _that _I am looking forward to. Okay let's do this."


	5. Scene 5

_Brian's POV_

* * *

I couldn't stop smiling – how very un-Brian-Kinney-ish of me. Sunshine was smiling too though. I knew because my eyes were on him more often than they were on the road. He'd grabbed the wheel at least once, along with the gearstick...

I pulled up behind the diner and turned off the engine. Justin was on me within seconds, like he'd been waiting for the first oppertunity to do so when it wouldn't end up with me crashing the car. I was addicted to the taste of him, the feel of his body underneath my searching hands, the way the low moans that were issuing from his throat vibrated against my lips...but this isn't what I'd parked at the back for, I wanted to talk to him.

"Justin," I said against his lips; he just continued to kiss me. "Justin," I repeated. He still didn't notice. I kept saying his name till he gave up.

"What?" He sighed, leaning his forehead against mine.

"You told me something last night," I began.

"I told you a lot of things last night; that I love you, that I'll marry you – and go through with it this time."

"This was just before you fell asleep, and you were pretty out of it," I told him. "I wanted to ask you whilst you're functional."

"Ask me what? What did I say?" He asked me curiously, sitting back in his own seat. At least he seemed to remember everything before that.

"You told me that you'd remembered." I was clinging on with desperate hope for it to be true.

"I did," he assured me, knowing instinctively what I was referring to. "The 'ridiculously romantic' dance with all the 'fancy tricks' which still stood as the best night of my life...until last night."

"I don't understand though," I admitted. "Why now? It's been so many years..."

"Seven, Brian."

"Seems longer," I commented. "So how? You were incoherent with details."

"You care that much?"

"Easy to say now we both remember it? Imagine if I'd forgotten? Wouldn't you want to know every single detail about how I remembered? I remember in the beginning all I wanted was to forget too."

"It would be easier," he allowed. "But, from my point of view – if I was given the choice; no. That was the first time it felt completely real with you. You weren't '_Brian Kinney_' you were just Brian."

"Did your mom ever tell you about when you were in the hospital?" A small part of me had always wondered.

"When you never came to see me," he accused.

"That's a no then." He looked at me in confusion. "I came every single night, Justin. I wore the scarf around my neck underneath my shirt... I was a mess, more so than you."

"I should have known you'd come – should have believed it," he sighed. "Well, I'm not a mess anymore; all the pieces are where they belong. I owe the guy that owns that radio station I hell of a lot for choosing to play our song."

"So that's what you meant. All you mumbled last night was 'song, radio.'"

"You didn't guess from that?" He asked, as if it were the most obvious conclusion.

"Sorry I'm not a mind reader. Come on," I told him, undoing my seatbelt. "I'm sure Debbie's waiting to see you." He groaned in reluctance but dragged himself out the car nonetheless.

I still had to pull him round to the entrance though due to him dragging his feet the whole way. "She's not gonna kill- Well I'm going to try and make sure she doesn't kill you," I joked. He didn't find it that funny.

"If she does," he said, pausing for the hundredth time – at least we were outside the door. "Know that I love you. And that I'm sorry we didn't get to fuck one last time in the car."

"In, now, before I change my mind," I said as I pushed him through the door.

* * *

_Justin's POV_

* * *

I stumbled to a stop in the entryway. Debbie was stood at the hatch to the kitchen, back to me. _Good, she hasn't seen me yet, there's still time to leave. _I spun round to do exactly that, but I had doubts about Brian being a mind reader as he was stood ready to grab me.

"Oh no you don't, Sunshine," he said, grabbing the top of my arms and steering me to a booth. I sat facing the window so I won't see the end when it came. I could feel my heart jump in my chest when I heard the clink of plates being set down on one of the tables behind me. "Good morning, Debbie," Brian said.

"Morning, Brian. What can I get-" She glanced up and saw his face. "Someone looks cheerful," she observed. Then she noticed me. "Who's your frien... Sunshine..?"

Why was everyone saying my name as if they couldn't believe it was me? I still looked the same. And three years wasn't that long in the grand scheme of things – not that I'd even been away for the full three years. My last trip back had been just over two years ago. Guess it seems longer. "Hi, Debbie."

"Sunshine!" She screamed, her notepad slipping from her grip and going wild as she threw her arms open before yanking me up and effectively cutting off my oxygen supply with the tightest hug I've ever received. I dimly heard Brian chuckling. It cut off for a moment as she pushed me back to arms length and hit me round the head. "Don't you dare leave again," she warned me, before crushing me back against her, tears in her eyes.

Brian was still laughing lightly when she let me go – after what seemed like forever though realistically I gauged it was more likely five minutes. It died when, after letting me sit back down, she hit him round the head too. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Keeping him to yourself since he got back. And don't tell me you haven't; you both look way too fucking happy to have not spent the night screwing each others' brains out." She said knowingly. "Now- Where's my notepad?" She retrieved it from the floor some feet away. "What can I get you? I assume you haven't made time for breakfast yet." She knew us well.

Brian asked for waffles and I ordered pancakes. "And coffee," I said.

"Two," Brian agreed. "And a side of bacon."

"Still hung-over?"

"Only a little."

"I'll be back with your order soon," Debbie said, disappearing to the hatch and leaving us alone. That was easier than I thought it would be.

_

* * *

_

Debbie's POV

* * *

The last time I was this shocked was when they said they were getting married. I couldn't believe they were just sat there – playing footsie under the table of all things. _Especially_ Brian; I can't recall seeing that boy in worse shape than the last few years.

It was like Sunshine really left his life. He'd come in here every single morning – hung-over, sometimes still drunk – order a black coffee and sit all alone at the counter whilst he drank it. Michael leaving didn't help either. I didn't think it could have gotten worse, but losing his best friend on top of the love of his life proved me wrong. Lord only knows what state his livers in.

Brian Kinney used to be the life and soul of the party. The party's been dead for the last few years. I thought they'd be okay, that their flame could survive. They tried at first and succeeded for a while, but then it began to flicker and dwindle, till they gave up and it went out. And I watched it all happen from right here, behind this very counter. Powerless to stop it...

"Hello? Can I get some service? Like, today. The coffee tastes like shit but I'd still like one." Yet another drama _queen _that thinks he rules the world and mere mortals should bow down and serve him.

"I'm sure you would, honey," I told him, pouring his goddamn coffee. "I bet asshole's your favourite flavour."

"Deb; orders up," the newest chef told me after ringing the bell about 50000 times.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." People are so fucking impatient. And queers are the worst.

"Here, you go boys," I said as I put their dishes in front of them. Behind me the bell started ringing again, but I'd just noticed something shiny on a significant finger of Sunshine's hand. "Jesus fucking Christ, you're getting married again!"

* * *

_Okay so I was going to write this as an exclusive Brian/Justin POV story but I couldn't resist adding that bit from Debbie's POV. I think it's important that someone knows, without needing to seek clarification, and completely believing that it's true, that Brian loves Justin and will always love Justin. And that when Justin leaves, his world is dark, and, literally, lacking the sunshine._


	6. Scene 6

_I just wanted to say that I'm aware this story is mostly speech and lacking general description but that's because I'm trying to keep the feel of this being like a script for the series whilst still being in story form. This is also why the chapters are shorter. I could push events together to make them longer but I'm seeing this in scenes in my head and that's how I'm writing it._

_Also for future reference, like with the Debbie POV in the last chapter, if I do deviate from writing in the Brian/Justin view point it's for a reason._

* * *

_Justin's POV_

* * *

Somehow Brian managed to grab my hand before Debbie. "When did you put this on? I put them away before we left," he told me, examining the ring I'd slipped on my finger this morning.

"Before you got up," I replied. "I never got to wear it last time. I was just gonna try it out for the day."

"It looks good," he said, finally letting my hand drop. "And yes, Debbie, I did ask him to marry me again," he told her, the corner of his mouth pulling up in to a smile. I loved how the way he said it made it seem like it was an accepted fact that he would ask me and that it shouldn't be questioned.

"What the hell for?" Debbie yelled.

"Hey!" I said.

"Nothing against you, Sunshine," she assured me, sitting next to Brian. "But you should have seen the state of him after-"

"Thank you, Debbie," Brian said stiffly, cutting off whatever she was about to say. "That will be quite enough of that," he warned.

"It's okay," I told him. "Believe me; I know how you feel. I went though it too, remember?" I reminded him. "I think I would have gone insane if I'd had time to think."

"Had time to think?" Debbie repeated in confusion. "You were sat painting day and night, you had all the time in the fucking world to think."

"Not exactly true..."

"Deb, your orders are staring to mount up," one of the other waitresses said as she passed the table.

"Cover for me; I'm busy," she said over her shoulder before turning back to me and staring me down. "Now what exactly do you mean by that?"

"I mean New York moves on pretty quickly," I explained. "Once I wasn't the 'fresh new talent' anymore it didn't take long to get over me. The last year I've just spent working; working to make rent, working to eat, working to have some spendable income, and working up the courage to come home."

"So while you were working to pay for everything it didn't cross your mind to pay the fucking phone bill?" She asked, her voice rising in octaves. "Why the hell didn't you call me? I could have helped-"

"I didn't call because I didn't want him to find out," I told her, gesturing to Brian. "This was _my_ mess," I stressed both of them. "_I_ needed to fix it."

"Justin!" I looked up at the sound of my name being called. _Finally_, I thought, sighing; _someone who didn't say it disbelievingly_. Emmett was stood in the doorway, with an open-mouthed Ted next to him. Drew was with them, his arms looped around Emmett's waist from behind. He let go as Emmett moved forward to greet me.

"Justin, sweetie," he said as I stood up to hug him. "What are you doing here? When did you get back?"

"Long story," I replied. "Hey, Ted," I said as I hugged him to. "Drew."

"Welcome back," Ted managed eventually.

"I'll go get food for everyone," Debbie said, standing up. I took the oppertunity to switch seats so I was sat next to Brian. His left arm wrapped around me and he pulled me closer to him. He'd done that a lot since I got back. I took it to mean he missed being able to hold me when he wanted, so he was doing it more often now to make up for it.

"Sit, join us," I told the others, pulling my breakfast towards me and digging in – I was starving. Drew sat down first, then Emmett slid in beside him and Ted sat on the end. Debbie reappeared with more coffee and then took their lunch order.

"So?" Emmett said, gesturing with his hands. "Tell us the story." Debbie placed their lunch on the table and then sat next to me. I figured I may as well just give them all the detailed version, so I did, continuing to eat in between sentences.

"I guess that's why you didn't get the wedding invite," Debbie said when I was done. "It got sent to the wrong fucking address."

"Oh yeah," I said, remembering. "Brian mentioned it; congratulations. You too Ted," I added. He smiled.

"Thanks, Sunshine. You're his plus one then?" Debbie asked. I nodded.

"When is it anyway?"

"Next week."

"Debbie, I could really use your help here," the waitress said as she passed, almost hidden behind the huge tray of food she was carrying.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming. I swear this place would be nothing without me," she said as she got up. "Listen, we'll all meet at Woody's tonight, have a welcome home drink, okay?"

"Sound's good."

"What if I don't feel like sharing you?" Brian whispered in my ear seductively. Under the table his hand slowly slid up the inside of my thigh.

"We could go to Babylon afterwards," I suggested. "And not leave the backroom... There is still a back room?" I asked him seriously.

"You're kidding right? _I_ own it," he reminded me. "There are two."

I smiled hugely. "Perfect."

"You finished?" He asked me. I glanced at his plates; they were empty. I still had half a pancake left, but I wasn't hungry for _that_ anymore.

"Yup," I told him, shuffling along the seat till I was at the end. "Definitely finished," I said as I stood up. "See you all tonight," I told them as Brian threw some bills down on the table. "Bye, Deb," I shouted, then Brian grabbed my hand and pulled me out the diner before I could delay any longer.

We didn't even make it to the car. He had me against the wall, out of sight, but still in broad daylight. When I came; it was explosive.

* * *

_Ted's POV_

* * *

"They left in a hurry," I commented as the door shut behind them.

"Well they haven't been together in two years," Emmett said. "And Brian's got to be desperate for it. I've never seen him go so long without fucking something." I laughed. "I'm surprised Justin knew about you and Blake. I wouldn't think he'd have time to get up to speed what with Brian keeping him busy."

"Yeah, that was a surprise. Though I doubt it was Brian telling him, he probably had to ask."

"Fair point," he agreed. "At least he asked though. I guess he still cares about us."

"I wonder if Michael knows. He wasn't too happy when they stopped visiting each other."

"That's a bit of an understatement," Em said. "He should learn not to mouth off about Justin when Brian's around. That's the second time he's punched him."

"I remember," Drew said. "I had to restrain him so there wasn't a third time. He packs a punch for someone so skinny," he said almost admirably.

"So do you want to call Michael or shall I?" I asked Emmett.

"_I _will call Michael," Debbie said. I should have expected her to be listening. "He says one bad word about that kid..." She said with a glint of anger in her eyes. "If Brian can get over it so should he," she said frankly.

"So...are you calling him?" I asked once Debbie was out of earshot. I offered him my cellphone...which he took.

"Hi, Michael, sweetie," he said. "Yeah, I'm good thanks. How are you?" I gestured for him to hold the phone outwards slightly. Leaning in, I managed to catch the last of Michaels reply.

"-great, just sat at home with Ben and Hunter; they're busy making lunch. So what's up? You don't normally call me when you're having lunch."

"Well I don't normally have news for you," he clarified.

"You sound excited," Michael remarked. "What's happening down there?"

"Justin's come home."

The line was silent. "I'll be there tonight," he said before hanging up.

"Do you think we should have told him?" Emmett asked as he handed back the phone.

"Erm...yeah," I said hesitantly. "He should know," I reasoned, though I still wasn't sure. "We should probably go before Debbie finds out we called him."

"Good idea," Em agreed. We both threw notes down, before getting out of there, uttering a quick goodbye as we went through the door.


	7. Scene 7

_I really shouldn't start posting before I'm finished. I manage to write a few chapters within a short space of time, so I think that it's okay to post because I'll continue to write like that. Never true. And as soon as I run out of pre-written chapters to post, writers block rears it's ugly head. I'm a terrible sufferer of it. So a quick note to anyone who's reading my other fics; I apologise for the wait, I can only ask you to bear with me and I shall try my very best to get new chapters written as soon as I possibly can._

* * *

_Brian's POV_

* * *

Justin fell into the car rather ungracefully, bliss written all over his face. He leant across the car and planted one hell of a kiss on my lips. He lingered, his breath ghosting across my lips as he sighed deeply. _I was good. _

"So, Sunshine," I said. "What do you want to do for the remainder our day together since you've forced us into a night spent with the family?" I asked him. I'd been planning to do a quick shop for supplies and then drive him out to Britin for an unspecified amount of time. But unfortunately that was off the cards now.

"I should probably go see my mom," he admitted guiltily.

"You haven't been to see your own mother?"

"No," he said sheepishly. "As soon as I arrived I knew I had to see you, so that's the first place I went."

"Visit to mother it is then. She still with...what's-his-face?" I asked, giving up on trying to remember his name.

Justin smiled at that, probably remembering when I couldn't even remember _his_ name. I seemed to have trouble with names in general really. "Tucker," he reminded me. "And yes. I never thought it would have lasted this long."

"Yes, as I recall you were a little bit of a brat at first; something to do with him being so much younger than your mom. Bit hypocritical don't you think?" I asked. I was joking but I still enjoyed seeing him squirm uncomfortably with guilt.

"I'm okay with him _now _though," he said defensively. "So, let's go. The sooner we say goodbye to my mom the sooner we can go back to the loft. I want to get all I can before we have to go out tonight," he said seductively. "I'm sorry about that by the way. If it's any consolation I wish I could go back to this morning and order take out while you were still asleep. We could still be in bed..." He fantasised. As much as I didn't want to, I tried to block him out and focus on my driving.

The electricity between us was ridiculous. I've never wanted anyone like this before – including him. _Maybe celibacy has some benefits, _I thought. I'd had him so many times already today and I was still battling with myself to pull the car over and have him again. I almost laughed aloud; we were like newlyweds without the getting married part – except I was going to make sure that happened this time.

It didn't take long to get to Jennifer's. We both stepped out the car, I waited on Justin till he was by my side, then we started walking up the path to the house. My fingers interlinked with his.

"Brian?" Justin said, stopping in his tracks. "What are you doing?"

"Not sure, what am I doing?"

"I can't remember you holding my hand before," he pointed out, though he didn't remove his hand from mine.

"Huh," I said thoughtfully. I guess I hadn't. I didn't think about doing it, it just felt...right.

"Justin..? Brian..?"

"At least it's not just my name she's saying disbelievingly," Justin muttered from beside me. "Hi, mom," he said a little louder. I let go of him for the minute as they both rushed forward to greet each other.

"Justin," she said excitedly, hugging him tightly. "What are you doing here? Why didn't you call me? I could have..." She trailed off, finally letting him go. "How long are you back for? I missed you."

"One question at a time, mom," he joked. "Let's go inside, I'll explain everything; so long as there's a decent cup of coffee on offer."

"And Brian," she said hesitantly, gesturing in my direction. I could understand her cautiousness, so I wasn't offended. After everything I'd gone through with Justin since I met him... If it were Gus I'd want to keep him away from someone like me.

"Mrs Taylor," I said, bowing my head by way of greeting.

"Brian's with me," Justin told her firmly. I moved to stand slightly behind him, placing an arm around him. "And will be for a long, long time."I squeezed him gently. Normally I would have kissed him but she still looked unsure about me for the moment and I didn't think it would be appreciated.

She seemed to accept his decision, knowing in her heart there was nothing she could do to change it. Nobody's ever been able to change it. He made his decision the first night we met. I never stood a chance. And I'm so grateful he didn't give up on me, not really.

"Come inside...both of you," she said before going back in the house. Justin smiled excitedly then followed her, pulling me behind him.

_

* * *

_

Justin's POV

* * *

"Justin!" Molly screamed from the top of the stairs, running down them full pelt and smashing into me, wrapping her arms tightly round my waist.

"Missed you too," I told her, hugging her back with my spare arm. My other was still holding onto Brian.

"Is this Brian?" She asked, unsure.

"Yes...have I never..?" Surely I'd introduced them at some point – we almost got married! But thinking back I couldn't recall the occasion. "Wow; aren't I the bad brother. Yes," I repeated. "Molly, this is Brian. Brian, Molly."

Uh oh; I began to regret the decision to introduce them. I did not like the look that came into her eyes when Brian – charming as ever – took her hand and kissed it lightly. Teenage girls did not mix well with older men that were as charismatic and gorgeous as Brian. Childish, obsessive crushes always seemed to ensue.

"Pleasure to meet you," he said. She just stood and stared. I almost expected her to giggle and flutter her eye lashes. As it was she gazed at him, unmoving. Then Tucker emerged from the living room...and she turned bright red. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing – Brian didn't even seem to notice.

"Hey, kiddo," he said. I scowled.

"Don't call me kiddo; I except Justin and Sunshine only. Justin from you."

"Sorry," he replied. "Welcome home." I shook the hand he extended. We were civil these days, and tried to get along for my mom's sake, but I still wasn't the guy's biggest fan. "You're mom's in the living room," he told me. "Come on, Molly. Let's leave the grownups and Justin to it." I somehow managed to resist the urge to hit him.

"You didn't come to see you own mother?" She exclaimed when I'd brought her up to speed and accidentally let slip that she was the last person I'd seen. "Sorry, Justin... Brian, I understand that he would go to see you first, but couldn't I have been second?"

"Nobody would have been second," I said, "but _somebody_ chooses to live off Jack Daniels and beer these days so we went to the diner for a late breakfast."

"You couldn't have come here for-"

"Would you rather I lived off something stronger than alcohol?" Brian asked me, cutting across her.

"Why did you have to have it in the first place?" I retorted. I knew, of course _why _he needed something but couldn't he have chosen something a little less destructive to his health. "Why couldn't you have kept busy like I did?" I enquired.

"I _was_ busy, Justin. It wasn't enough," he sighed. "Nothing was...which was why I drank myself unconscious most nights." I didn't know what to say. The fact that we were sat in my mother's living room with my mom present was irrelevant; all I could focus on was Brian. I didn't know what to say; so I didn't say anything.

I threw myself at him, my hands fisting in his hair as my lips crashed against his. I moaned low in my throat, my tongue flicking out to taste as much of him as possible. In the back of my mind I stopped myself from beginning to rip his clothes off – though I very much wanted to – remembering that we weren't alone. And then the memory that my mom was sat across from us had me drawing away with one final lip-smacking kiss.

"You idiots," she sighed. "The both of you," she continued after seeing my confused expression; "acting like you've never been apart. You never should have been. And now you've wasted three years that you're never going to be able to get back."

Talk about buzz kill. We both sat back, her saying it aloud finally allowing the enormity of our mistake to sink in. I'd finally gotten my happily ever after and I turned it down. I left the love of my life for a small chance of a career. I spent one year building myself up only for it to fail the next, then the third year doing...nothing, when I could have been here. I could have been happy. I could have been with Brian. I never want to be anywhere else ever again.

I turned to face him and the words; "marry me," slipped out my mouth before I could stop them. Once again I'd forgotten about my mom. I heard the smash of her coffee cup as it slipped out of her hand.

* * *

_Brian's POV_

* * *

Three years. I'd known it had been that long, but I hadn't acknowledged it, hadn't let it sink in. Now it was starting to I began to agree with Jennifer; I was an idiot. I was nothing without Sunshine, I was ready to say that now, shout it to anyone who would listen. I can't believe I told him to go. We'd been about to get married, what the hell was I thinking? Well, I hadn't been thinking, hadn't thought that him leaving could possibly be the worst thing ever to happen to us. I was going to do everything in my power to make sure I never lost him again.

Justin must have been thinking along the same lines because he chose then to propose. "Marry me," he said. Simple, to the point...some would say without feeling, but 'some' weren't looking in his eyes right now. I was reminded of the fact that he'd just flung on his mom the news that we were getting married again when I heard her coffee cup fall to the floor.

"M-m-married?" She stuttered. "Isn't that a bit sudden? You've only just gotten back together."

"We were never apart, mom," Justin replied. "Not really."

"But-"

"And he already asked me anyway," he continued. "And I said yes...again."

"Oh, why do I even bother?" She asked of no one in particular. I assume she means 'why bother fighting what's _apparently _meant to be.' "I suppose congratulations are in order," she said, putting on a smile.

Justin stood and met her in the middle, receiving her congratulatory hug. I wasn't sure whether to stand or not so I remained perched on the edge of the sofa. We used to be on good terms, but after the last few years I wasn't so sure anymore. She seemed to be reserving judgement too.

Or not, as when she released Justin she opened her arms in my direction. I stood up and hugged her – whether it was for Justin's sake or genuine I wasn't sure. Only time will tell I guess.

"So...we have to go," Justin said, grabbing my hand and backing towards the door. "Erm...we're having drinks tonight at Woody's – Debbie's idea – as a welcome home kind of thing. You should come – bring Tucker." I briefly wondered what his hurry was, but I really shouldn't have.

"Yeah," I agreed – I was doing the pulling now. "You should definitely come. It'll be a good experience for him," I joked.

"We'll see you there?" Justin said as I opened the door, kissing her on the cheek and following me outside without even waiting for her answer.

"Of course," I heard her say – quietly because we were almost at the car. "Bye," she shouted from the doorway to get Justin's attention.

He waved and then got in the car. I watched her shake her head, rolling her eyes before going inside. I laughed once under my breath and then started the car.

"Where to?" I asked as I pulled out.

"I want to say grocery shopping then the manor but I guess that'll have to wait for tomorrow," he promised. "So; home, I guess. Or the nearest place where we can safely get naked, whichever's quicker."

Nowhere was near. I racked my brain for possibilities but came up empty. So I just pushed the speed limit a little. Justin didn't seem to mind.

* * *

_Just a heads up, the next chapter will be a fun one :P And also, just a quick note to _suns and stars _sorry for not having a Debbie POV like I said. This chapter and the next were a last minute decision but chapter 9 will definitely contain one._


	8. Scene 8

_One word; enjoy._

* * *

_Brian's POV_

* * *

I stopped Justin as he all but smashed his way through the car window in his efforts to get out quickly by throwing an arm across him and pushing him back down onto his seat. I'd meant my hand to land on his stomach area, but due to his haste it landed much lower. Fuck I missed being 25; he was rock hard already. I couldn't resist squeezing a little, relishing the shaky intake of breath as he relaxed back into his seat. I leant over the space between us, my breath ghosting across the exposed skin of his neck; still stroking him the entire time. I stopped when my lips were at his ear.

"Race you inside," I whispered, heavily laying into the statements other meaning. His cock twitched under my hand. I rubbed him once more, letting the heat of my last breath warm his cheek, then I pulled back and got out the car.

I walked slowly, giving him time. I heard his door slam shut behind me and then his quick footsteps as he caught up. His arms wrapped around me from behind, his hands tugging up the hem of my shirt, searching for skin. I stopped walking, getting lost in his touch. He was touching _everywhere; _not heavy enough to make me hot, but not so light that I couldn't feel it. His fingers were driving me crazy...I was getting goosebumps.

Restlessness had me turning around and shoving him into the side of the building – hard. But I didn't give him time to complain. Bringing my lips down against his, I cut off any response he'd been about to make. Instead he made this noise that was half-moan half-sigh that had my knees going weak, causing my body to flatten itself against his. I can't say I minded the contact. Everything was familiar, but at the same time everything was brand new, like our bodies were re-introducing each other and getting to know the other all over again.

His hands were knotted in my hair, holding me tight to him – it was difficult to breathe, but I didn't care. Mine were exploring wherever they roamed, his ribs – I cringed a little when I could feel them through his clothes; he'd gotten skinny too..._ No doubt Debbie will feed us up_. I pushed thoughts of Debbie aside, grabbing his hips and forcing them closer to mine, letting out erections grind together.

By this point my hands had found their way below his waistband down to his ass and were currently fisting and massaging his cheeks. But it wasn't enough. Removing my hands – and ignoring his moan of protest – I pulled back and, bending slightly, grabbed the back of his thighs, yanking them apart and hosting him up so he was wrapped round my hips. His grip on the back of my neck was firm, having grabbed it to keep from hitting his head.

I pushed him tight against the wall as my lips rejoined his, leaving a wet, lingering kiss on his mouth before moving along his jaw, down to his neck... It came out of the blue when his hands pushed my head back when I'd started to push his collar out of the way.

"Brian," he began, after seeing my expression of confusion meets annoyance – I'd been on a roll. He leant forward, bringing his lips close to my ear. "You're not winning here."

That's when I realised that it was the middle of the afternoon and we were against the building, and that any cars or pedestrians passing by that happened to glance to their right would catch us in a rather compromising position... I didn't particularly care about that though, and I doubt Sunshine cared either. I suspected his reasoning was due to the fact that we'd both be too exhausted to get upstairs and go again afterwards and the side of a building wasn't the best place to recover.

"Good point," I sighed. "Hold on tight, Sunshine," I warned him.

"Brian, what are you-?" He re-tightened his grip on my neck and locked his legs tight around me as I grabbed him firmly by his ass and carried him – 'Grease' style – round to the front door.

"Get the door, Sunshine; _before_ I put my back out," I said jokingly...well, half jokingly; despite being the skinniest I'd even know him, he was still kind of heavy.

He removed one hand whilst still keeping a good hold with the other and leant behind him to open the door. It was slightly awkward getting through the doorway – _I guess this is why they always open the door first when they carry their partner across the threshold in the old movies _– but we got through eventually. I didn't even drop him. Someone had left the elevator open; good.

I pushed him against the back wall, swallowing his gasp of surprise as I ravished his mouth with mine. I let his legs drop to the floor but kept his hips close to mine so he was bent into me, his crotch so painfully close to mine with only four layers of fabric between us. I didn't even break for air, Justin was much more important. The taste of him was intoxicating, the smell – that really was like sunshine – was making my head spin, the sounds he was making were making me desperate...my need for this guy was insane.

But I wasn't quite ready to forgive him for everything though I suspected he thought I was. I kept up the display, my mind scheming away whilst my tongue worked its magic, helping to completely turn his brain to mush. He'd never see me coming... After all, I welcomed him back without fuss last night, despite everything. He had to expect some kind of revenge sometime, right? _Mmm, that could work,_ I thought, finally reaching my best idea.

I grabbed the back of his knee, pulling his leg up to my hips again, using the leverage to rub myself even closer to him. My hand pulled at his lower back, crushing him nearer, kept pulling, lower and lower till everything that was able to touched and was rubbing, and grinding...the heat the friction between us was causing inside of me... I needed to stop soon; if I kept going much longer I'd forget my name.

Really, _really, _needed to stop...but my body didn't feel like obeying me; my lips continued to move in sync with his, our tongues dancing like only they knew how – there had to be holes worn into our pants from the force of our thrusts. Thinking about this wasn't helping me convince myself to leave him.

_It'll only be for a minute, _I told myself repeatedly, but I didn't want to miss even a second of this. New words would have to be invented before I could adequately express how much I missed him. _Just do it, get it over with, _I tried again; nothing.

_You can manage one fucking minute without him! You're Brian fucking Kinney! _Nobody _does this to you... _Except he'd always managed to do this to me; I'd never wanted anyone again until him. Now look at me, my whole being was dependent on him, like my body ran on Sunshine instead of glucose or all that other scientific stuff.

_3, 2, 1; now. Now!_ I relinquished my control over him, letting his leg drop and minimising myself to an almost autopilot state, hoping he'd take the lead; which he did. In exactly the way I'd hoped he would. He shoved me backwards and into the adjacent wall. I was slightly surprised that he didn't comment on anything; he knows I have to be in control... Maybe he was too happy to care. He'd care in a second...

I kissed him one last time, our lips making a delicious, wet 'pop' as they broke apart. Justin sucked in a huge gulp of air, grinning mischievously as he moved back in, but to his shock, I denied him. He was confused, and therefore distracted, I took my chance. With a playful glint in my eye I gently urged him backwards, and he responded, smiling excitedly – obviously thinking that something good was headed his way; how naive. Little did he realise he was headed straight off the elevator.

As soon as he was far enough back, I knocked him senseless like only I knew how – one of my little tricks so to speak that always ensured they were left wanting more. And Sunshine wouldn't be getting what he wanted for quite a while...well, as long as my willpower lasted, which probably wouldn't be that long, but I'd try. Stepping back quickly, I closed the door to the elevator, leaving Justin stood on the other side looking more bewildered than ever.

"Brian..?" He walked over, putting his hands up against the door. "What are you..?"

"Enjoy the stairs, Sunshine," I said, trying to keep in character though I was seriously having to fight the urge to pull the door open and yank him back against me. I pushed the button for my floor, hoping that would dispel it. He stood, mouth gaping, at a loss for words as I began to rise out of sight. "Don't start without me," I warned as he disappeared from my sight.

_

* * *

_

Justin's POV

* * *

I stood in shock, staring at the empty spot where Brian had just been. _I can't believe he just did that, _I thought, bewildered as to what had just happened. I'd been so fucking... Then he did that! I hadn't even been able to think coherency coherently. It was like my body lost the will to do anything but kiss him, rub him, and generally get as close to him as inhumanly possible. I sighed; frustrated. It would appear that I wasn't going to be getting any anytime soon.

I put it down to experience that he was able to think up whatever he had planned during _that._ Plus the fact that he'd been able to stop in the first place. Or maybe I was out of practise...though there hadn't been complaints last night, or this morning. It had been pretty amazing for me. Things couldn't have changed since then, right?

I was debating between waiting for the elevator and taking the stairs. I eventually settled on the stairs; get back in shape. Not my preferred work out but it might help get Brian off my back about who's _really _the old man. Though after running up the first few flights I suspected it was me. By the time I got to the last corner I was definitely breathing a little harder than normal; though my brain seemed to have finally started working.

"This is punishment isn't it?" I shouted a little breathlessly, receiving a small chuckle in response. As his floor rose in front of me I tried to compose myself and hide the fact that I was out of breath. But then I saw Brian; and I truly was breathless.

The door to the loft was open, the light coming through the windows illuminating him where he leant, without a care, in the doorway. His clothes were in a pile on the floor behind him. I didn't even notice when my mouth fell open in awe; he held every bit of my attention. He was beautiful...and hard. So very, very... I was sure I was drooling. I didn't care. I needed him; _now_.

"I do believe you're a tad overdressed," he said, visibly tutting at the state I was in – it's not like I hadn't seen him naked before.

I couldn't help it though. I also couldn't help it when I covered the distance between us and threw myself at him; his proximity being too much for me to withstand unless I was allowed to touch him...which apparently I wasn't. I kissed him only once before he pushed me back, carefully, assuring that our bodies were still so close that there was only air between us.

I took a deep breath; the air around me was infused with his scent. "You're very good," I said; he was making me light-headed. "But I'm confused; were you lying when you forgave me for leaving?"

"No," he replied. That's all; one word. He wasn't giving anything away.

"Then why am I being punished so cruelly?"

"Thank you for the compliment" he smirked, holding me firmly in place despite my efforts to get closer.

"Brian, come on! What did I do?" I inquired, getting impatient – he was driving me insane. "If you're not going to tell me can you at least put off punishing me till later? Much, _much _later," I suggested seductively. He wasn't having it.

"Not a chance, Sunshine," he said, pushing me away and walking back into the loft. He turned back to face me. "You have to earn this," he told me, gesturing to his perfect body. My attention was once again drawn downwards...

I couldn't deny that I was jealous; I didn't look that good _now_; what hope did I have for when I was his age. Resigning myself to the fact that him and his perfect body were currently prohibited, I sighed and followed him inside, closing the door behind me. _This is gonna be torture._

I desperately tried to think what I'd done so I could apologise quickly; there was a rather _pressing _issue to deal with before we had to leave again. And I wanted to make sure it was _thoroughly _dealt with. But the fact that he was sat calmly on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table – going over stuff for work! – told me that I'd have to do a lot more than just apologise. Needless to say my hopes of having the best afternoon in over two years had lessened dramatically.

_

* * *

_

Brian's POV

* * *

I had no idea it would be this hard. I was surprised I'd lasted this long. Some things were worth it though. Like his face when he finally made it up the stairs; now wasn't that a picture. Reminded me of the first night I brought him here, the way his eyes widened and his mouth fell open at the sight of me naked, how he couldn't even speak, just had to touch me. I could almost taste his frustration when I hadn't let him. And then the begging ensued...

I'd almost given in when he suggested I leave his punishment till later...I was still desperate to give in. My will power was hanging on by a shred. He looked so _fraught_; I could see his mind whirling away, thinking back over everything, trying to remember what he'd missed. He was hurt too, he was hiding it for the most part but as I continued to say nothing his shoulders gradually sagged and it became visible in his eyes. I hated that I was hurting him, but I couldn't tell him I was hurting too for fear of giving it away.

I'd been telling the truth when I'd forgiven him for leaving; that had been my doing too. What I hadn't forgiven him for was something that had occurred more than once in the past. I'd forgiven him then, but I couldn't bring myself to this time. It was something I reacted to last night; I just hope he'd picked up on it enough then to be able to remember it now.

"Brian, please, I'm begging you," he implored, kneeling in front of me. "I'm down on my knees _begging _you. Whatever it is; I'm sorry, but please don't do this now. I've just got you back... I don't want you to be mad at me; I want you to be with me, I want you to make me forget that the past few years ever happened."

It was such a tempting offer. I was close to begging myself to give in; I don't know how I managed to refrain. I tried to keep my head straight. "The past couple," I corrected. Partly because the first year – despite being the hardest – did have some good memories but mostly because the third year was really the vital part, and he needed to realise that _before _I gave in and told him.

He smiled slightly and I assumed he was remembering all the stolen weekends. Then a look came into his eyes, one that didn't exactly reassure me in my current, vulnerable state. Though had it been any other time I would be getting pretty excited about now.

He got up off his knees, standing straight before stepping onto the table. I sat up slightly. "Justin... What are you..?" I asked, trailing off, wondering what the hell he had planned.

"Well," he said, kicking his shoes across the room and pulling his socks off. "You did mention I was overdressed..." He got his phone out of his pocket, turning his music on.

_Oh no... _He couldn't do a striptease; not when I was like this. _That _I couldn't handle, not when he could dance as well as he could. He was probably better too, what with all the practice he'll have had in New York; he'd have to be something special to get a job there. Of course, there was always the other way of getting a job, but I sincerely hoped he'd learnt his lesson in that department. It was only okay to do favours for the boss when he was working for me.

The beat was slow, sensual, sexy, but something he could still roll his hips too; something that could be playful. He teased me repeatedly with glimpses of skin before finally pulling his sweater over his head, turning around as he did it so his back arched – my eyes went straight to his ass; it somehow looked good whatever he was wearing. I had to get in it. My pretence of looking over work documents had dropped completely; his mission of distracting me working like a charm.

I could see the roll of muscles in his shoulders – a year of hard labour helping to define them. Focused as I now was I seemed to notice things I hadn't yet bothered to. His shoulders weren't the only thing that had changed. As he turned to face me, playfully throwing his sweater at me, I noted his chest was also bigger; though it could just seem that way due to the size of his waist. It was strange that he was able to build the muscle he had when he'd lost so much weight.

I brought his sweater to my face, taking a long exaggerated breath; exaggerated to hide the fact that I was using it as a distraction, I hated that he'd had it so bad that he either hadn't had time to eat properly, or couldn't afford to. But it was his own fault – he could have come back as soon as it got bad; I'd have been there for him, no matter what. He smiled; whether because it appeared I'd stopped being a hard ass or simply because he thought I was funny I wasn't sure.

His next move nearly killed me. He popped open the button on his pants with an audible click, before slowly pulling down the zipper, keeping eye contact with me the whole time. His tongue slowly wet his lips... My hand had moved before I could process the thought to move it; I gave in to everything that I'd wanted to since letting go of Justin in the elevator, but I still didn't involve him. And Justin noticed.

He let his pants drop to the floor without even trying to do anything. It seemed I was to enticing to wait for as the last remaining articles of clothing were also shed without much finesse. Then everything seemed to slow down... He picked up his phone from where it sat at his feet, shutting of the music before stepping down from the table, one leg either side of mine. My hand stopped moving, returning to my side; he held my attention.

He moved forward till his legs hit the couch. I grabbed his hands and pulled him down to me so he was sat comfortably across my hips. His fingers trailed up and down my chest.

"I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner," he said softly. The corner of my mouth pulled up slightly, just enough to let him know this was the apology I'd been wanting. "I'm sorry for all the times I didn't come back sooner. And the times when I was stupid enough to leave in the first place."

I didn't reply, instead I brought my hand to the back of his neck and pulled him down to me, my lips meeting his halfway. Justin relaxed into me, making that sigh/moan sound again that sent shivers up my spine. His mouth opened slightly and I sucked gently on his upper lip; I could feel his smile against my mouth. He kissed me again, his hands on either side of my face as he deepened it a little before breaking apart and pulling back, a look in his eyes that had me eagerly anticipating what was to come.

He stood, stepping over my legs and reaching down for my hand; it didn't take much pulling on his part for me to get up and follow him as he lead me to the bedroom. I pulled him back to me at the top of the stairs; enjoying that I was able to, that he was here, that I actually had pulled him back to me... _Fuck, when did I become a this guy?_

We were stood with our bodies pressed together, skin against skin; my nerves felt electric. His hands ran up and down my back, my arms encircled his waist as I ran my lips along his shoulder all the way up to his neck, my kisses stopping just under his ear lobe.

"I love you." I had no qualms about saying those words now. Maybe if I'd said them sooner we could have had more time together, but that was in the past, and it didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was our future.

Justin didn't return the sentiment, but that was okay; looking at his face it was obvious that he was too happy and content to do anything but smile. That smile... I'd said it once before and I thought it again now; _I know why Debbie calls him Sunshine._

I bent my head slowly down to his, capturing his lips once again as I urged him back onto the bed. He laid on his back with me above him; our kisses were slow but full of passion and meaning, neither of us wanting to tease anymore, both of us giving all of ourselves to the other. I ran my hand down his left side, my fingers wrapping around him to follow the curve of his back... I stopped at the top of his thigh, using my grip there to pull him on top of me as I rolled to the side.

"What are you..?" Justin asked, pulling away.

"Top or bottom?" I asked, keeping my tone neutral. His eyes went wide; I could see him thinking 'did I hear him right?' His mouth fell open when he gauged from the innocent way I was looking at him that he had heard me right; I really did just ask that. He surprised me by thinking it over before answering; I'd have thought the answer would be obvious considering the amount of times I'd given him the choice in the past.

"Wow," he said eventually. "You really are more flexible in your old age." I rolled my eyes at the age comment; I'd actually been feeling much younger since discovering the desire he still had for me. "But you'll be glad to know I'm still the same guy I always was."

"Bottom?"

"Bottom."

"You sure?" I questioned. "What if I never ask again?"

"Control isn't important to everyone, Brian."

"That's not why... You were supposed to say top," I told him. "I haven't exactly been a saint; I was offering as repayment."

"I don't want repayment," he replied. "You took me back; that's enough repayment for anyone. What I want," he said, leaning forwards and placing his lips at my ear, "is you inside of me."

I smiled at the memory; that was probably one of the better times we'd spent together – the way he put his complete trust in me, me actually showing I cared because I knew he needed me to... I'm so thankful for everyday we had after he was bashed. After he left I used to wake from nightmares in cold sweats; I'll have dreamt of that night, sitting in that hospital, tears streaming down my face without me even trying to stop them... I'd been so fucking terrified. And there was no Michael to tell me that everything would be okay; just a faceless doctor telling me it wouldn't.

Justin rolled to my right, reaching above his head for a condom and lube; he sat with one leg tucked under him as he put both on me, lying down on his stomach when he was done. I moved so I was above him, my legs either side of his as I crawled slowly up his body, running my tongue the length of his spine, placing wet, lingering kisses at intervals. I continued all the way up to the top of his neck, marking him higher than any collar would hide.

I reached down to his hip as I shifted my weight to my right, grabbing him and pulling him back against me as I thrust forwards. His head rolled back onto my shoulder in ecstasy as I brushed past his prostate. I set up a steady rhythm before reaching around him and rubbing him in time – something I didn't normally do; I'd never had to, but I wanted to give him everything I could, everything I had... I didn't think he would ever leave again, but if he did I was going to make damn sure he knew what he was giving up. Just like the first time, he would remember this day forever.

The afternoon hours passed quickly, but for the two of us time became meaningless – neither of us worrying about it now that we were back together. Justin once said that our first time had been love to him; whereas to me, at the time, it had just been another fuck, one more virgin left with the searing memory of a first time he'll never forget. I'm not saying he was wrong – it obviously was love for him; little twerp never left me alone after that, for which I will be forever grateful – but surely it's only love when both people feel that way. This afternoon with him had been love. Both of us together, moving together, then lying completely spent with our arms around each other, not speaking, simply running our fingers over the other, relishing in being able to again. I didn't even notice the time, it was only as the sky outside grew darker that I remembered we had other places to be.

"Justin," I said regretfully, breaking the silence; "we have to get up. We're meeting everyone at Woody's, remember?" I gently nudged him, urging him to get up from where he lay, completely relaxed, across my chest. I'd been sure he'd fallen asleep once or twice, but then he'd open his eyes and look up at me as if he were checking I was still there and smile before resting his head again.

Nudging him wasn't proving too successful; he'd just groan and nuzzle close to me – pouting like a grumpy teenager the whole time. I tried shoving but that just caused him to re-double his efforts , holding onto me even tighter than before...so I flipped him on his back.

He enjoyed it for a second, before he remembered why I was doing it and then the protests started in the form of continuous groaning and exclamations of 'do I have to?' as I stood up and grabbed his hands, pulling him behind me as I headed for the shower. The destination seemed to cheer him up, till he discovered I was planning on actually showering.

"Cheer up, Sunshine," I told him as I got dressed, doing up the fastening of my jeans before moving to button my shirt. "You'll get to take them off later." I emptied out his bag on to the bed, urging him to choose something so we could leave.

"Promise?" He asked, choosing a shirt though he still didn't put it on.

"I promise," I said, kissing him, keeping it light. Though I was currently being the grown up out of the two of us, I could admit that it wouldn't take much persuasion on his part to get me to stay here with him. Once he'd gotten dressed I quickly pushed him out the loft; closing and locking the door behind me before I changed my mind and decided to stay in after all.

_

* * *

_

A quick note to say I'm sorry for not updating for over two months. I have only one thing to say; I hate writers block. I got about halfway through writing this chapter then I simply had no inspiration to finish it till this last week. Anyway, I hope it's been worth it. I have started to write the next chapter but please don't get your hopes up about it being posted too soon. I'll write when I can but basically I need to start focusing on my school work; so I'll see you at the end of June I guess. Of course if I can update before then I will but realistically that's when I'll be back in full swing.

_My go to YouTube channel for all things Brian and Justin has been deleted. Not happy. They had all the Brian and Justin moments from every episode; I don't know what to do now other than watch the series over when I need to. Sorry, just needed to complain to someone who might understand; I was devastated. _

_On a different note, my best friend introduced me to this great website; F C K H 8 . c o m Please, please, if you hate homophobia as much as I do, take a minute and visit the site – watch the videos (which are awesome), get the shirt... 'She's gay, I'm straight and we're working together to FCK H8!' It's for a really good cause; all proceeds from merchandise go to help queer youth suicide prevention and help fight against Prop 8. Thanks. STR8 AGAINST H8!_


	9. Scene 9

_Though it's fairly obvious when you read it, I thought I'd better mention that the huge chunk of this chapter that's in italics is a flashback – therefore is purposefully in third person even though it's included in Debbie's POV. I hope you like the last POV I added; it was very fun to write. _

_Also, I got a little teary eyed when I first thought of the idea for the flashback, so if you cry easily – like me – you've been warned. _

* * *

_Debbie's POV_

* * *

_Where the fuck were those two at? _Now there's a question that's easy to answer. I'd rather hoped they'd stop fucking like rabbits for one night though; we're supposed to be welcoming Sunshine home. I know our welcome won't be quite as appreciated as Brian's but that doesn't mean we're not gonna try. I got everyone here; Em, Ted, Blake, Drew... I even managed to drag Carl along. Shame I couldn't get through to Michael; I'd tried when my shift ended but he must have been out. The idiot – and the idiot's husband – both had their cells turned off too. He'll find out eventually I suppose. I left him plenty of messages... Melanie and Lindsay were out too; must have been a family outing I guess.

"There they are," I said as the door opened. "Or not," I finished, seeing it was only Jennifer and her boyfriend.

"Should someone call them?" Emmett asked.

"Like they'd stop long enough to answer," Ted replied, chuckling.

"Stop what?" Jennifer asked, the answer dawning on her when she realised who was absent. "Really?" She asked disbelievingly. "They're not here? I know they left in a hurry when they came to see me but I thought they'd have gotten it out their system by now."

"Stop sniggering," I told Ted and Emmett, smacking them round the head. I was too annoyed to join them; they'd left the diner in quite a hurry too. Their sex drive never ceased to amaze me. I elbowed Carl, trying to convey that he should go talk to Jennifer's boyfriend who was starting to look a little uncomfortable. I could just imagine his face if he saw Babylon... It made Woody's look like a children's playground.

"Fucking finally!" I exclaimed when they eventually showed up, both looking like they'd dressed hastily – probably too busy fucking to remember there was a party. "What the hell have you been doing all afternoon?"

"The other," Em chipped in from beside me. Sunshine just smiled knowingly, carefully avoiding him mothers gaze as Brian rolled his eyes at Em and Ted who were laughing like a bunch of school girls.

"Try not to think about it," Jennifer warned Tucker who was looking slightly confused.

As Carl offered to get the drinks in, everyone heading to the bar to place their order, I took the oppertunity to talk to Brian. "I told you so," I said, pulling him aside. He smiled, knowing exactly what I was referring to.

* * *

_It was three weeks since Justin had left for New York. Three weeks since they'd last seen each other. Three weeks since they'd said goodbye at LaGuardia Airport after getting Justin settled into his new life._

_The woman most concerned with this goodbye hadn't been present when it happened, but she didn't have to be. She'd been the first one to see Brian's face when he'd returned home; an empty apartment being too much for him to handle, he'd shown up on her doorstep at midnight, asking if he could stay. Like mentioned; that had been three weeks ago. She'd gotten him to go home after that, now the problem was getting him to leave. _

_As she rode the elevator up to his floor, all she knew was that if he didn't open the door when she got there she would break it down. Worry didn't come close to describing it. Who knew what the fuck he was doing to himself; she just hoped he was right minded enough to prevent something irreversible from happening. Bracing herself for the worst outside the door, she balanced the dish of tuna and macaroni she was holding in one hand and knocked three times. She counted to ten; nothing. She tried to keep calm, as she tested the door to see if it was unlocked...which it was. She pushed it open, her mouth falling open in shock at what lay beyond. _

_The loft, usually so immaculate in its upkeep, seemed to have fallen into the same despair that had become its owner. Everything was a mess; dirty dishes in the kitchen, clothes flung left right and centre, desk overflowing with documents, most falling to the floor... It was like Brian just didn't care anymore. Just when she thought her heart couldn't break enough, Brian appeared at the top of the steps to his bedroom, a hopeful excitement on his face which disappeared the second he saw it was only Debbie._

"_I thought..." He said, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose; hiding his pain like he always did, though this time in vain. He turned to his right, pounding the wall with his fists before his knees gave out and he dropped to the floor. He sat on the top step with his head in his hands, trying control the shudders in his shoulders._

"_Oh, Brian," she sighed tenderly. She put the dish on the counter, moving to sit beside him. She put her arm around his shoulders as he turned towards her; needing her shoulder to cry on. He'd always been like a second son to her, but this was the first time she'd felt like he was seeing her as a mother. She held him for a long while, letting him get it all out. It really did feel like the poor boy was pouring his heart out, trying to get it all out of him so he didn't have to feel the pain that came with having one. She'd always known he loved Sunshine, but she was still surprised to see how much. _

"_Tell me what's wrong, Chiquitita," she asked when it seemed he had stopped crying. _

"_Don't mention that song," he told her, sniffing as he composed himself. "Appropriate as it is all it does is remind me of...dancing in the street after he was... I promised he wouldn't forget that one."_

"_You miss him don't you?" She asked, to taken aback at his behaviour to realise the stupidity of her question._

"_I think that's fairly fucking obvious at this point," he said, standing up and beginning to pace along the length of the kitchen counter. _

"_Then why the fuck are you sat here feeling sorry for yourself? Why isn't your ass in a plane to New York?"_

"_Because I'm scared!" He yelled, turning to face her. "I'm scared, Deb," he admitted softly. He took a deep breath, masking his pain again. He went and sat on the sofa so she wouldn't see what had become of him. She could only stare; never in all the time she'd know him had he ever admitted something like that, looking that vulnerable. _

_Mechanically she stood up and went to the kitchen, dishing him up a plateful of the food she'd brought. She took it over to him, thrusting it under his nose and forcing him to take it from her. "Eat," she told him sternly. He grudgingly took the plate and started to half-heartedly pick at it; anything for a distraction. When he'd finished she started on him again._

"_Why are you scared?"_

_He should have known she wouldn't give up. "A few reasons," he replied. _

"_Like?" She prompted. She'd get it out of him whether he liked it or not. _

"_Well going there's all fine and dandy but what about coming home? Do you even realise for a second how hard it is to walk away from him? To leave him without knowing _if _I'll see him again, never mind _when." _He was being hard on her, he knew, but she could take it. _

"_And the actual reason?" She asked. "For I suspect there's only one really, and that wasn't it, Sweetheart. You can't fool me. You've said goodbye before and lived it's not gonna kill you to do it again. Now, why won't you go to New York? What are you really afraid of?"_

_He sighed, admitting defeat; he didn't have the strength to fight her on this. He was going crazy in the loft all by himself, he needed someone to talk to. Also he wouldn't be able to get rid of her till she was satisfied. "I'm scared he'll have moved on," he confessed. "And I can't pretend I don't care and that it doesn't bother me like I did the last time. I'm not that person anymore, Deb. If he has moved on...it'll kill me."_

"_I know, Honey; you love him."_

"_I've always loved him," he admitted. "Ever since that second time I spent with him. I just don't fight how I feel anymore. Feeling sucks; and not in the good way."_

"_I know, Honey. But there's no pleasure without pain – I'm sure you know that."_

_He chuckled once. "Not very often."_

"_Brian, you need to go to New York," she told him. "I know it'll be hard, but at least you'll know one way or the other. Not that I think he'll have moved on. That kid fucking loves you; has since he was seventeen."_

"_But-"_

"_No buts. Besides, he'll come back here someday; maybe not for a while, but it'll happen."_

"_What makes you so sure?"_

"_Because you're here, and he always comes back to you. He came back after the first time you fucked him, after he got kicked out his home, after his bashing, after his fiddler turned out to be an even bigger asshole than you, after his Hollywood dream died, after you pushed him away when you had cancer, after-"_

"_Okay, okay; I get it."_

"_Either that or you'll expand your business up there. What I'm saying is; you'll find a way of being together. Now, get your stubborn ass off this sofa and book a fucking flight to New York."_

* * *

"And what happened when you got there?" I asked, reminding him.

"He ran at me so fast and hard that he knocked me down. Everyone was staring and we were just laid on the floor, kissing each other without a care in the world. Too happy at being together to worry about anything else." He'd stopped talking to me; he had that look in his eyes as if he wasn't looking at anything in front of him. I suspected he was lost in the memory...and the ones that – knowing those two – undoubtedly followed. "I'm glad he's back... How did you know?" He asked, his change in tone catching my attention. "You were so sure then, even when we lost contact you didn't waver. You still believed he'd always come back."

"Mother's intuition," I replied. "They all come home eventually."

We both smiled as Justin came bounding over, leaning up to kiss Brian before handing him his drink. "Thanks, Sonny Boy."

"Here you go, Deb," Carl said, handing me a glass of wine.

"Thanks, Honey," I replied. "Well, I think it's about time someone made a speech," I said, raising my glass in Brian and Justin's direction.

Finished with his drink, Brian set his glass down on the table behind him, moving behind Justin and wrapping his arms round his waist – basically volunteering him.

"Okay, I guess I'm making the speech. Thanks for that, Brian." He just laughed in response, kissing his jaw. "Erm...where to start? The beginning would be good I guess. So, I knew from the first time I met him that I wanted my future to be with Brian. I then spent the next five years wanting him to ask me to marry him-"

"Then he turned me down when I did," Brian commented.

"I said yes the second time," Sunshine replied. "So I'm very grateful that after I foolishly left for three years that he still wanted to ask me when I came home."

Brian turned him around in his arms so they were face to face. "And I'm grateful that he still said yes to an old man when he could have any guy he wants."

"I've always wanted you; I love you." They were about to kiss, their lips centimetres apart when...

"You've got to be _fucking kidding_ me!"

"_Michael_!" Ben scolded. He wouldn't be the only one to scold him if that tone indicated what I thought it did.

"Surprise..." Hunter finished lamely.

Surprise indeed. I knew exactly who to blame; my suspicions confirmed when it seemed Ted and Emmett had conveniently disappeared for the moment. Boy would they be sorry when I was through with them. That reaction from Michael was exactly why _I'd _wanted to call him. This was going to be a long night...

* * *

_Brian's POV_

* * *

"Daddy!" Gus shouted, appearing from behind Michael and Ben and running full pelt towards me.

"Hey, Sonny Boy," I said as I caught him in my arms, lifted him up and hugged him close. Over his shoulder I watched as Mel and Lindsay appeared in the doorway. They both moved forwards, greeting everyone. Of course Debbie all but snatched her granddaughter, who until that point had been perched on Mel's hip. I put Gus down, hugging Lindsay.

"I told you so," she whispered before moving on to hug Justin.

"Melanie," I said in greeting.

"Oh come here," she said, hugging me, much to my surprise. "Congratulations. We knew he'd come back."

"What?" Justin asked, having overheard. "You all knew that I'd come back?" He asked looking at everyone.

"Pretty much," Hunter summarised. He was stood next to Debbie, trying to entertain his little sister - aka distract her. It wasn't up to Babylon's standards but Woody's wasn't exactly the ideal place for a four year old.

"Mickey," I said, noting he hadn't joined the party. "It's a family reunion; aren't you going to join in?" I asked for he was still stood resolutely in the doorway. Even Ben had moved to greet everyone.

"I don't believe you," he said, slowly stepping forward.

_Please no, _I thought. I desperately hoped he wasn't going to ruin the best day of my life, but I sensed where this was going, knew how it would end... _Please let me be_ _wrong_. I leant down and whispered in Gus' ear. "Go see your mom okay, Sonny Boy."

I moved forward from the group, trying to get some distance between the happy celebration behind me and the contempt I could feel rolling off Michael. I'd hoped to protect Justin; he'd never really heard the things Michael could say sometimes, but I felt his hand on the small of my back as he moved forwards. I put an arm out, my fingers wrapping around his hip, keeping him slightly behind me.

"You're seriously forgiving him?" He asked disbelievingly.

"Michael," I warned. "Don't. Do. This. Not _now_, not _again_." He didn't seem to hear me.

"Have you forgotten what you were like after he left you?" He questioned, ploughing on despite the warning. "_Again_," he emphasised, rubbing it in. Justin moved from behind me, brushing off my arm as he stood by my side, showing a united front. "Or did you drink so much that you forgot that too? You're fucking blind Brian! Can't you see that? He's a little selfish gold digger that takes everything from you without a care, pretending it's 'love'. Like he knows what love is. And the worst part is you fucking believe him; you give and give and what does he do in return; leaves you over _and over_ again."

Justin's eyes were on the floor, his expression guilt ridden. I was desperately trying to stay calm - I didn't want my son to see me like this - but Michael had no fucking right to say those things. If I wanted to give Justin things I would, if I wanted to forgive him for leaving after I'd pushed him into going in the first place then that was my business. If Michael still wanted to act like a jealous prick about it then fine, but I wasn't going to listen to him.

"Come on, Justin," I said, taking his hand. "Let's go."

"Yeah, go!" Michael yelled. Of course basically everyone was staring by this point. "You never cared one bit about Brian, you just came back to torture him some more. Like he hasn't suffered enough because of you! You just had to rub fucking salt in his wounds. Just do us all a favour and go back to your little twink in New York and get the _fuck_out of our lives!" He finished, shoving Justin.

The whole place went silent; that was one step too far. I didn't even try to control myself as my right arm came up and hit him square on; I felt his nose break under my fist.

He went tumbling to the floor, blood flowing down his face. No one rushed to help him like they did the first time. He'd never been that malicious before. They all just stood staring; some with their mouths open in shock, everyone had looks of disbelief upon their faces.

"When the _fuck_ are you going to _grow up_, Michael!" I screamed, my rage reaching boiling point; hitting him hadn't been enough. "We're not fourteen anymore; fuck we're not even 29 anymore! You're not the most important guy in my life! I _love_ Justin! So what if we've made a few mistakes? That's our business. You need to get over yourself, Michael. You're married now, you're a father now; stop acting like a spoiled brat, and stop telling me what the _fuck_ to do with my life! Unlike you, I'm a grown up, I can make my own decisions! I don't fucking require your opinion and approval of everything I do. Just leave me the _fuck alone_! I don't want to see you again."

I didn't look back as I stormed out of there. I just kept on walking.

* * *

_Debbie's POV_

* * *

I didn't stop Brian as he hit my son. I didn't go and help him as he lay on the floor, blood gushing from his broken nose. And I didn't jump in as Brian verbally lashed into him before storming out in a rage like I'd never seen before. I didn't stop him because as far as I was concerned he was just saving me the job of doing it.

There had been times in my life where I'd been disappointed in my son, but I'd never been ashamed before. I'd never felt like telling everyone in the room that was listening - basically the whole fucking bar - that that wasn't the son I gave birth to. I wouldn't say I was as angry as Brian right now, but I'm telling you, it's pretty fucking close.

I looked to where Justin was still stood; frozen in place with shock. I walked over to him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "Go after Brian, Sunshine. Lord knows what he's doing out there."

He managed to nod. "I'm sor-" he started to say.

"Don't you _dare! _I don't want to hear that word from you," I said, cutting across him. "There's only one person here who needs to say that...and then say it again because I would be very surprised if it was accepted the first time. Now go, we'll see you soon."

He kissed my cheek before running outside after Brian. I turned to Michael, or the person who looked like Michael because the person at my feet most definitely wasn't my son at the minute.

"Michael Charles Novotny-Bruckner. How dare you. How fucking _dare_ you! I'm actually ashamed to call you my son. And as much as I would love to stand here and give you a piece of my fucking mind, I'm not going to. You're not worth wasting my breath on." I said all of this looking straight into his eyes so I knew he knew I meant every word. I turned back to my friends. "Well, I'm going to continue this celebration at home. Anyone else who isn't my son is more than welcome to join me."

* * *

_Ben's POV_

* * *

Who had I married? That was the actual thought that passed through my head during Michael's 'speech'. I'd never known this side to him; never knew it existed, never knew it could exist! I was in shock. So was Justin. Brian had stormed out already and I really didn't blame him. Deb went over to Justin, telling him to go after Brian. Then he went to apologise, _actually apologise!_I'm glad Debbie stopped him. I completely agreed that the only one who needed to apologise - and much more besides - was Michael.

I'd always known Michael had a thing about Brian, and therefore Justin, but I thought we were past it. Apparently I was wrong.

Looking at him laid there, the blood running down onto his jacket, I found it very hard to pull up any kind of sympathy towards him. He'd crossed a line tonight, and everyone here knew it. When he told us after lunch that Justin had come home, I didn't suspect a thing. He looked normal, like he was happy for his friend. He told us we should fly down there - asked me to book the flights whilst he called Mel and Lindsay. I never suspected he'd do something like this.

As Debbie started on him I couldn't help but agree with what she was saying. I almost felt like telling her to leave the Bruckner off his name. I was ashamed of him, shame like I've never known before. I just couldn't get it through my head that he'd said those things with the amount of force that he'd had behind them.

"Well, I'm going to continue this celebration at home. Anyone else who isn't my son is more than welcome to join me."

I wanted to take her up on that offer, I really did. But unfortunately I'd made a commitment and loath as I was to staying behind, I knew someone had to, and that someone would be me.

Carl left first, following Debbie. Emmett and Drew weren't far behind, then Ted and Blake... Jennifer looked livid, her boyfriend having to restrain her as they walked past Michael. If looks could kill, Michael would be getting off easy. I didn't want to ever be on the receiving end of that look. Lindsay looked a little shocked at the state of Michael. Ted and Emmett had suggested that one of them might want to get the kids out the way and it must have been her. Mel on the other hand couldn't even stand to hold her daughter; she walked out of there with Gus in her arms looking disgusted, pulling Lindsay and J.R. behind her. Finally there was just me and Hunter left.

* * *

_Hunter's POV_

* * *

I wanted to go, I knew Ben was expecting me to, but I wasn't going to leave him like this. Not after what Michael had done. I couldn't believe he had just done that to his best friend. I knew Michael had a bad side - he wasn't exactly my number one fan to begin with - but I didn't know he was capable of that.

"Hunter, why don't you go to Debbie's," Ben suggested. "I'll deal with this."

"No. I'm not gonna leave you."

"Hunter," he shouted. "That wasn't a suggestion." His anger was getting the best of him; he needed me now more than ever.

"_Dad_; I'm not going. You're gonna need me," I said, walking forwards to where Michael was. "Get up!" I told him. "Your nose is broken, not your legs." I think hearing the resentment from his son made it more real to him, for he stood and started walking quietly towards the door.

Ben came forward, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you," he told me, before following Michael outside.

Everyone was still watching. "What the fuck are you all staring at?" I yelled. "Show's over," I said, headed for the door.

I walked down the street, keeping an eye out for Michael and Ben. I eventually found them arguing by the car we'd rented.

"I swear to God, Michael; I thought we were through with this." Ben looked so hurt and betrayed as he said that.

"Through with what?" I asked. With their silence came realisation. "You've done that before?" I asked, turning on Michael. "What the hell, Dude?" I yelled, shoving him into the car. "He's your fucking best friend!"

"Hunter," Ben warned.

"_No! _And don't tell me to get in the fucking car either!" I was shouting but I didn't care. "How could you do that to him? Brian's your best friend, and he loves Justin - they're engaged again in case you didn't know. How the fuck would you like it if someone did that to Ben?"

"Hunter, _stop_!"

"I'm not surprised he hit you."

"_Hunter_!" Ben shouted, grabbing my shoulders. That finally got through to me; that and I'd run out of steam for the moment. "That's enough. Get in the car, both of you." I grudgingly got in the back as Michael climbed in the front and Ben got in the driver's side.

"Now here's what's gonna happen; we're going to go to the hospital and get your nose fixed, then you can go to the hotel. Hunter and I will be at Debbie's until either of us can stand to be around you."

"Ben, I'm-"

"Save it, Michael! I don't want to hear it, and neither does your son. Do you have any idea how ashamed of you we both are? I can barely stand to be in the same car as you right now."

We were just pulling up at the hospital when Michael spoke again. "Are we gonna be okay?"

Ben turned off the car, pausing before he answered. "I don't know," he replied. "I think I just need space... Take the car; we'll get a taxi," he said as he opened his door, leaving Michael and me in the car. I met his eyes in the rear view mirror then followed Ben out the car.


End file.
